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When Anxiety Says No
If you have read any of my previous posts, you likely know that I have times in my life when I struggle with anxiety. For me, I now see that some (not all) of it stems from insecurities and oftentimes being too concerned with what others might think.
Upon reflection (and therapy), I see that most of those feelings started in childhood. I had people in my life who would tease me about my looks, my weight, or whatever. Have you ever had to deal with that?
Looking back, I can now see how it has played a part in my being afraid to trust my own judgments or to trust others.
As I have gotten older and have “done some work”, I have become much more comfortable in my own skin and have learned that I can trust myself more. It is one reason why I have a very…and I mean very…small circle of friends. I want to know you are trustworthy before I let you in.
But with that baggage of insecurities and other unrecognized fears I now know, that it has caused me to hold back a lot in my life. Say “NO” to participating in things that I am certain I really would have enjoyed.
Part of the purpose of my writing this blog is for this to be a proactive way for me to purposefully, live fearlessly. Sharing my thoughts and feelings is scary. What will people think? Will they like what I have to say or will they dismiss or make fun of what I have written?
Have you ever had thoughts like that? Anxiety-inducing, isn’t it?
Say Yes
I want to make a change in my life and NOT miss out on what could be some great things in my life.
So lately, when I am asked to do something that would usually cause me trepidation, not because it is a bad or dangerous thing, but because of my stupid anxiety or fear, I remember my intention and my new goal to try to live life fearlessly. That doesn’t mean I don’t still feel the anxiety or fear…but this new awareness encourages me to go for it anyway.
With or without fear.
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but is acting in spite of it.”
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I hope that saying YES to things that I would usually avoid or back away from simply because of my irrational fears, will be a transformative thing for me. I feel like it is already.
So I ask you to join me in this journey of saying YES to things that you would usually say NO to simply because of anxiety or fear.
Now, I am not talking about saying yes to everything. Nothing illegal, immoral, or hurtful to yourself or others. I simply mean saying YES to things you only say NO to because of anxiety or fear. Check out the verse below as inspiration and comfort in times of fear.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Think about some of the things you would usually say NO to but secretly you wish you could say YES to.
Maybe you can begin by simply sharing your feelings about something with someone if perhaps that is one area of your life that you hold back. Or if someone asks you to go somewhere and you usually say NO, really consider just doing it.
Why not try something new that you think might interest you. Have you always wanted to run in a marathon? Start training.
Have you quietly wished you could write a book or start a blog? Crack open your laptop and get writing.
Whatever it is…take a deep breath and take the first step in the right direction.
You will likely be anxious or fearful…but try it anyway.
Let’s encourage each other to Live Fearlessly!
I struggle daily with severe anxiety as well as acute bipolar depression. I have only just today stumbled upon your poignant and eloquently written blog. I feel I have found a kindred soul and must tell you that you have a new reader of your courageous “quest”. Please, please continue to share. 🤓
On a side note; one of my favorite verses to read when I’m feeling wrongfully judged or rejected is Hebrews 12:1 Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ❤
It is hard to overcome anxiety. I have had a hard time dealing with it most of my life, but I am learning to slowly but surely come out of my comfort zone. This is a great post!
Thanks,Shyla. It’s hard to stretch ourselves sometimes. But the rewards are usually worth it. Have a great day!
I love this post! Cheers to you for working through your anxiety and pushing to not allow it to control your life. I challenged myself, starting in my mid-twenties, to make major changes in my life and do all the things that I was only avoiding because of fear. It has led to some interesting twists and turns. All I can say is that I am a much happier person and I have fewer regrets about what I have done (or more importantly, not done) in the last decade than in the decade prior to that. Keep going. It gets easier!
Thanks, Crystal. I am trying! Thanks for the inspiration!