Some People Just Don’t Understand (Your Mental Health Struggles)

man sitting with knees up resting closed hands on forehead

They Don’t Understand

Have you every had a conversation with someone who doesn’t even begin to understand mental health issues? I was recently talking with a close relative about a mutual relative who suffers from depression periodically. She says that there are only 3 things to consider: “We either live in the past, the present or the future. When we focus on anything other than the present, it can cause anxiety or depression and one just has to stay in the present and they’ll be fine.” Sounds simple, right?

While there is some validity to that point, but she just doesn’t understand that mental health struggles are not simply a will of the mind. Often times, there are physical or emotional issues causing them. A hormone imbalance, chemical imbalance or a history of trauma. Her statement basically dismissed the reality of the struggle. Ugh. She is not someone who is open to understanding things she doesn’t know about, so I chose not to engage further in the conversation. For my own mental health!

With that being said, I am happy for her that she has never had to deal with the heavy weight of either depression or anxiety. In the past couple of years, talking with others who haven’t suffered, I have found that many of them just don’t understand. I don’t blame them, as it is something that is hard to fully comprehend or let alone truly explain to others.

What To Do? Where To Turn?

Don’t get angry with those who don’t “get” what you are going through. In the same way you may not “get” the struggles of someone going through cancer treatments or diabetic issues, others may not understand your trials.
Because of the disconnect at times, I think it is important that those of us who deal with depression or anxiety find someone who can relate or at the very least, empathize. There is nothing more difficult than to be dealing with a mental health issue and feel like no one understands or cares about what you are going through. What can you do?

  • Find a therapist to talk to.
  • Friends or family who are sympathetic.
  • Seek out websites, blogs, social media. There is a huge community of those dealing with mental health challenges and it is amazing the support you can find there.

The bottom line is we ALL have stuff we are going through. Most of us have no idea what the other person is dealing with. Find support where you can and choose to be kind to one another.

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Mental Health: A Crisis of Financial Proportions?

About Our Mental Health

Mental Health is a Hot Topic these days. More and more people are coming out and talking about their journeys with varying mental health issues. From depression and anxiety to bipolar and panic attacks, just to name a few.  While I am so grateful for the many public figures that are helping to destigmatize these issues, I feel there is so much more that needs to be done.  We often hear people say, “Seek help if you need it.” And at this point in time more people are recognizing that, yeah, perhaps I do have an issue and I really need to get some help.

Then a hurdle is placed in front of them. Where do we go to get help and how in the world do we to pay for it?  Most people start with their primary care doctor if they feel something isn’t quite right. If the scope of the person’s mental health issue is perhaps out of the doctor’s range, they will refer the patient to someone more specialized. A therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, etc.  Usually with these visits come costs. Unless you qualify for medicaid (because of low income, etc) you are likely to have a co-pay at the very least or a “no co-pay until your exuberant deductible is met” policy.  Typically you meet with a therapist a couple times a month. Maybe more, maybe less depending on your situation. So while you are trying your best to muster up the courage to even meet with this therapist or doctor, in the forefront of your mind you are stressing about how you are going to pay for it.

 

Getting Help Isn’t Always So Easy

Figuring out how to pay the bill, may cause some to abandon getting help at all.  My insurance for example, has a $4000 deductible. Which means I must incur $4000 worth of medical expenses before my insurance will cover most anything.  So that means if I want to see a therapist or psychiatrist, I’ll have to pay their fee upfront, anywhere from $90 to $120, which is typical in my area.  I may be able to swing that for a one time visit, but that isn’t usually how it works. I’d likely have to see them at least once a month.  And let’s say I need meds as well. Insurance may cover cost of some, but not always the case.

So what are we to do? We tell people with mental health issues to get help. But if they have no insurance or a high deductible insurance, how are they getting help if they don’t have the funds to pay for it? I think one way we can help our society as a whole is to figure out a way to pay for people to get the help they need, without being stigmatized. We would all benefit if those who needed help would have easy access to healthcare professionals without the fear or anxiety of how to pay the bill.

I urge all of us to lead the charge and encourage lawmakers to create some sort of universal policy for mental health coverage and access to local providers.  This issue not only affects us individually, but as a collective society. I think we are worth it.

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Kevin Love Revealing Panic Attacks is Helpful for Others : Everyone’s Going Through Something

This week NBA star, Kevin Love revealed in an open essay in The Player’s Tribune, that he has recently suffered from panic attacks. Something few people knew. He didn’t intend to go public with this information. However, after another NBA player, DeMar DeRozan shared publicly that he was dealing with depression, Love decided to reveal his truth. The response, according to Love, has been overwhelmingly positive. People have been sharing their own personal stories with him.  Love said that sharing this message may be “his life’s work.” DeRozan has seemingly taken on his new role as well to help increase awareness of mental health issues.

 

Revealing your truth

It is amazing that when we decide to move ahead and share our truths, how freeing that can be. And how it can open the flood gates for others to do the same.  Mental health issues have historically been kept very secretive and discreet. Usually for fear of being judged or deemed “unstable or crazy”.  As we have come to learn over the last five to ten years, mental health is a broad spectrum and expanse. It amazes me as I speak to others about anxiety and depression, how so many people are dealing with these issues. Most don’t  talk openly about it, but I feel the culture today is changing that. With celebrities and other high profile people being willing to be open about their struggles, it often helps the rest of us feel comfortable to do so.

We are all in this world together. Being less judgmental and more understanding can go a long way. As Kevin Love stated in the recent article, “Everybody has things that you can’t see, that you can’t touch that they’re walking around with every day.”  We just don’t know what someone else is dealing with. They don’t know what you are dealing with. There are two statements that come to mind when we consider that.

  • Be kind to one another. 
  • Sharing your truth can help to set you and others free. 

 

If you are dealing with any mental health issues, do seek help. A trusted family member or friend, pastor, doctor or therapist.  You don’t have to deal with this alone. There are tools to help you get through and overcome.

I thank Kevin Love and DeMar DeRozan for inspiring others to speak their own truth.

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